Q/A Friday: Should Christians Cohabitate Before or Instead of Marriage?

The Bible does not directly address the issue of cohabitation, but I believe the answer to this question is a confident “No”, and here are 2 reasons why:

  1. To cohabitate with someone of the opposite sex is to give the flesh something sinful to think about. Paul says in Romans 13:14 that we are to starve the flesh – not feed it. And anyone who says, “Just because I live with someone I am thinking about marrying or dating doesn’t mean I will compromise sexually,” is fooling themselves. I bet King David thought he was “safe” when he walked outside of his palace and looked down into the city and saw Bathsheba. Take heed to your soul, or you will fall (I Corinthians 10:12).
  2. Cohabitation is reserved for married couples only. One of the 1st instructions given in the Bible to a couple is that they should leave their own families and cleave to one another. In other words, that is God’s design for a home – a marriage woman and a married man. It is not for those who have not left their own families and vowed to become one (Gen 2:21-24; Matthew 19:6). Building a home should be for a man and woman who have been married.

Now, every now and then you will hear couples say, “It’s cheaper” or “we do it for tax purposes” or “it is helpful to both of us to share various responsibilities,” or “we need to make sure we are relationally or sexually compatible”. But none of those – NONE of those – should ever erase clear biblical warnings against cohabitation. In fact, the last example is actually a violation of clear teaching against any form of sexual immorality.

Please, don’t play with fire!

If you have a question you would like to submit to our blog to be answered in the future, please email it to charlesheck@cox.net or post your question in the comments section

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