This is an inevitable reality, unless you never talk about Scripture. Two people can be looking at the same text and interpret it different ways, just like two people can witness a crime and claim to have seen it happen in differing ways.
When disagreement happens, keep in mind that your conflict is in the text.
Our goal is not to attack someone personally or bring someone else down for their differing interpretation. Someone’s interpretation is wrong and someone’s interpretation is right, and we are seeking to see God’s lack of confusion on what He wrote.
Paul tells us in Ephesians 4:29, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Corrupting talk can be any talk that tears down a person’s character or hinders their growth. Our difficulty is not a personal one, but a textual one. So, guard your heart against taking a personal offense.
With that in mind, let me give you some more help on this critical question of disagreeing with others. Godly men disagree all the time, and Romans 14 is a “go-to” passage for help on the subject.
First, be welcoming to those who disagree with you – “As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions. One person believes he may eat anything, while the weak person eats only vegetables” (Romans 14:1-2). In other words, don’t shun the person who says, “But I think it means this.” Disagreement doesn’t have to lead to disunity, but it might if you don’t welcome the conversation.
Second, don’t despise the person with a different view – “Let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgment (or literally “despise”) on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him. Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand” (Romans 14:3-4). To do anything else is to push your superiority over others and that is self-centered.
Third, be convinced of your view – “One person esteems one day as better than another, while another esteems all days alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind” (Rom 14:5). Your conscience should lead you, but keep in mind your conscience may be the uninformed one. And if your consciences don’t agree, you can help each other by informing the conscience with the Word.
Fourth, keep in mind you are not the final Judge of one’s interpretation – “Why do you pass judgment on your brother? Or you, why do you despise your brother? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God; for it is written, ‘As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God.’ So, then each of us will give an account of himself to God” (Rom 14:10-12). If we considered the point more often, we would be far less argumentative and more willing to simply listen and allow God to sort through our hearts.
Fifth, the most important outcome is not to be right but to build up your brother – “So do not let what you regard as good be spoken of as evil. For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men. So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding. Do not, for the sake of food, destroy the work of God. Everything is indeed clean, but it is wrong for anyone to make another stumble by what he eats. It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble” (Rom 14:16-21). Whether you agree or not, make it your aim to be helped by their (understanding their view better and strengthening your own) and vice versa.
Worldly Saints 