Stuart Scott’s book The Exemplary Husband: A Biblical Perspective is one of the most comprehensive books on how to love your wife. I have been through this book a number of times with couples going through per-marital counseling, on my own when I was engaged to Andrea, and then a few other times as a refresher for my own role as husband.
The book gives biblical help on love, leadership, physical intimacy, stewardship, serving your spouse, communication, resolving conflict, dealing with sin, anger, anxiety, fear, lust, etc.
One of my favorite sections of his book is Chapter 5 entitled “A Husband’s Understanding – Of Marriage.” It is in this chapter we learn the purposes for marriage, having the right commitment to marriage, and God’s intentions for our marriage.
On pg. 65, the question is asked, “What are you portraying?”
It is a question addressed to the husband about his leadership in the home. The author gives the following 7 analogies that are not appropriate for the husband to be and they are analogies that are so easy to find yourself exhibiting in your home.
- Are you a “king lording it over his vessels?” This is the husband who dictates everything to his wife and believes his wife is only there to serve him.
- Are you a “hireling over sheep?” This is the husband who leaves when anything gets tough and refuses to sacrifice towards his wife.
- Are you a “tolerant roommate?” This is the husband who is not committed to his wife, ignores his and her sin and just does whatever he wants.
- Are you a “business partner?” This is the husband who thinks everything in the home should be split “right down the middle” with his spouse.
- Are you an “irresponsible steward or drifter?” This is the husband who avoids his responsibilities, depends on others to fill his responsibilities and just always “goes with the flow.”
- Are you a “preoccupied worker?” This is the husband who is always busy and distracted and uninvolved in every or most things.
- Are you a “patrolling supplier?” This is the husband who provides for his family’s physical needs but is never personally involved.
Or are you the husband who is exemplified in Ephesians 5:25-33?